So its been a long while since I wrote another blog post (again) but this time its for the complete opposite reason... I've been busy (but I am also still lazy)! A few days after writing the last post whining and moaning about my lack of energy and general cruddy-ness something in the water changed and I was suddenly given the key to unlock all my energy again! No doubt about it, I could still sleep until I had a reason I had to get up but I suddenly felt like me again! Unfortunately what came with this was also the inability to sleep before 5am and needing to pee every three and a half minutes so, in the back of my head I kind of knew it was all down to my cortisol levels skyrocketing again as opposed to me finally adjusting to my medication. But to be honest, compared to how I was feeling with lowered levels, I wanted to give maintaining my health the big middle finger. I felt as if I had just spent all my parents money traveling around southeast asia and found myself again. I was loving it. I spent a week up in Manchester, saw Adele (queen, SLAY), hung out with my family and friends and got back in the kitchen. My life was enjoyable again!
But as I said, deep down I knew that feeling like this was a great sign socially, but most probably a bad sign medically, so when I handed in my what weighed like a gallon of pee again at the start of my next day curve test I was apprehensive. I had my neurosurgeon meeting scheduled for the next week and I was worried the results will come back too high and my surgery would have to be postponed even further (I think four boring months is enough). But my doll Kemi reassured me and said that if it comes back high they're most likely to just increase my medication rather than delaying the op.
The next week rolls around and it's time for my all awaited neurosurgeon meeting. I was PUMPED. It was what I had been waiting for after all this time (surgery before christmas my arse). So when the name of the doctor it said my meeting would be lead by got rubbed off the whiteboard I was worried. All we got told was he 'isn't in today'. Fuming. I really just wanted to get it over and done with. Give me a date, give me a to-do list and send me on my way. Meet you in theatre, doc. Quit playing with my emotions like this!!! Anyway, so half an hour after my scheduled appointment time I got called in by some guy I'd never seen before (not really a 'team' meeting at all) who proceeded to show me my MRI and tell me a lot of basic stuff I already knew. 'This is your nose, these are your eyes, and this is your brain...'. He then went on to tell me the only way to treat is through surgery and booked me with a hot date with the operating table on April 26th. Wahey!! Then, when I queried about the results of my last tests he got them up, looked at them and went out the room to consult someone else. Ding ding ding, just as I expected... My cortisol has shot up again.
A new man came in and explained a lot of things I already knew, again. 'You normally feel like this because you have high cortisol levels and then you felt like this because your levels were lower and your body wasn't used to it blah blah blah'. 'While you were feeling bad your levels were lowered and in the most recent test they're high again blah blah blah' Yes, come on, get to the point. I know this. And then he popped the question 'now do you want me to be honest'. Rhetoric question? Yeah, I'd kind of like to know what's going on please. 'You're not taking your medication'.
I wanted to slap his stupid glasses of his face.
Actually, Mr Doc, I'd quite like to not take my medication, but alas, I do and I'll have you know I'm really quite anal about it. I've missed about a total of maybe 5 doses the entire time I've been put on these soul absorbing capsules and considering I have to take them 3 times a day and you've put me on them for three months already I reckon that's pretty good going. You asshole.
My mum backed me in my corner and we pushed him back into his. He said in that case then they've 'neglected' me and they should have been more attentive and kept a closer eye. Yeah. Too right. I've been telling you about my changes and all I ever hear is 'oh, okay well we'll see when the results come back'. He said although I felt horrible for the first couple of months on Metyrapone, they were doing the job and that was a good thing. He then said he's going to have to increase my medication and essentially put me back to sleep. I feel as if I'm a jack-in-a-box...I've finally broken free and he wants to push me back down and shut the lid on me. What they normally do to someone already on my dosage is add on Ketoconazole but instead of going through all the faff of prescribing, sourcing and starting me on a new drug, they're just going to increase my Metyrapone to 750mg TDS. So bam, that was managing my cortisol over with, now just the small problem of my blood pressure. He said that when you go under they only ask you about two things: allergies and blood pressure. He said with cortisol levels, they can be lenient but when it comes to blood pressure, no systems are go if it's not controlled.
When I told him I was on 3.75mg of Ramipril he told me my GPs were pansies and with readings as high as mine I need a lot more pumped into me than that. He blasted my Ramipril up to 10mg and said I had to go back on Amlodipine again. I told him about my amlodipine induced wotsit ankles so he threw in Bendroflumethiazide too. Brilliant. That week I was on SEVENTEEN tablets a day. That is only because I wanted to use up my lower dose ramipril capsules before starting on the big boys, though. Pleased to say I'm down to thirteen now. pah.
But pumping a stronger cocktail of drugs into me hasn't made much difference to be honest. I'm still here! Ive had a few (inconvenient) waves of feeling shit but I'm still buzzing at 3am and still pissing throughout the night. The physical symptoms have also reared their ugly heads... my skin has erupted (although eat, sleep, breathing easter chocolate probably doesn't help), my hump has returned and as my mother so kindly pointed out, so has my moustache. Just get me to that operating table!
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