This past week has probably been one of the worst weeks of my life and a lot has happened so I'll split the next update up into separate parts.
Second surgery morning rolled around and since the first op I didn't have the biggest of appetites, so the last time I'd drunk or eaten anything had been a bag of chip sticks and a cup of juice at 4.30pm the afternoon before. I've been on medication that you have to take with food, yoghurt or milk (athough I usually just took them with squash and felt the pain of my stomach fizzing instead) first thing in the morning since december last year so waking up and not being able to even wet my mouth was hard and my god I was so thirsty. Not knowing when my surgery would be in the day was hard to and all I could think about was when I was next able to guzzle down some kind of liquid. My insides felt shrivelled up and dry. So they put me on a fluid drip so I didn't become too dehydrated (this avoided me having anything in my stomach which i could vomit up during surgery).
Anyway, so both my mum and my sister came first thing in the morning and stayed with me until I was wheeled down to theatre again where we were met with the surgeon. Mum asked a few questions about the nature of this surgery and he basically said that what was left was so microscopic that they wont actually be able to see what theyre trying to remove so they have to plan to go in aggressively and scrape as hard as they can in as big of an area as then can in the hopes of removing whatever is still festering around there. My Mum asked if there was potential of taking the whole pituitary gland out and he just said 'yeah, could do.' willy nilly. It was all kind of scary having that struck upon me just before going into theatre. A life without the main control system for everything that goes on chemically in my body? eh? I'm not prepared for this!
But alas, no time to contemplate. Its time to go under. I got wheeled into the room but facing the other way so this time it wasn't so 'lay back and enjoy the ride'. I could see all the stacks of different medical equipment, I could see into the room where they were with their masks on cleaning all the tools for surgery. It all felt very slow this time. But then I saw the nice anesthetist I had the week before and it gave me a bit more comfort. He explained it all again and luckily because I had the cannula fitted for my sodium drip to keep me hydrated in the morning I didnt have to experience the painful insertion in the back of the hand again. He just administered the anesthetic through that instead. The woman holding the oxygen mask over me also held it closer to my face so I actually went drowsy and air-drunk. So going under felt like much more of a process this time.
Anyway, same thing happened and I thankfully didnt remember a thing after that. Thaaank ya Jesus. I woke up in recovery. Unfortunately back again with a tampon stuffed up my nose. This time the string was sellotaped to my other cheek rather than slap bang in the middle of my forehead. Last time I felt like I had been hit by a 4x4 but my God this time I felt as if I'd been hit by a double decker bus. Multiple times. I came round and she turned the lights on. When she did behind my eyes pounded like some kind of lion trying to get out its cage, so that paired with the overwhelming feeling of drowsiness I physically couldn't keep them open. She went over the whole 'whats your name? do you know where you are? whats the date? how much pain are you in?' malarky about twenty thousand times I just wanted to scream at her to turn the lights off and take me up to the ward, but alas, no energy. She banged on at me that they cant take me up until I'm fully awake but I was! (in my mind) I just couldnt keep my eyes open. I could register everything going on but I just couldnt fully respond with my body. They called for the nurse to come and collect me but she came down and refused. Too drowsy, too dangerous... Bitch.
The recovery nurse kept on at me about keeping my eyes open, warning me I had to pretend I was fully awake when the nurse next comes back down so I can trick them into taking me back up to the ward. Then she made the phonecall for collection again. This time a different nurse. She accepted me (or could have been a he, I admit I was out of it and can't say I really remember).
I dont remember much else from that day aside from the fact I couldn't open my eyes because it was too bright and that I needed to piss what felt like every 20 minutes, but didn't have the energy to go to the bathroom, so they had to lay down one of those incontinence pads like the ones you put on the floor when trying to train your puppy, and make me lift my hips while they put a bedpan under me and let me do my bizzness. Think I mastered the skill for that one that day. No more taking up all the bowl with my arse and overflowing it like I did last surgery. Oh I also remember being SO THIRSTY. But also (initially) very sick. On the ward straight after surgery I drank half a cup of water and five seconds later vomited two sick bowls worth. (I did this all with my eyes closed so I didnt see for myself but I remember my mum banging on about my sick just being 'coffee granules' which were lumps of blood that had got into my stomach during surgery, yum.) But after I was sick I didnt feel nauseous anymore. I just wanted to DRINK. But then they wouldnt let me quench my thirst incase I vomited again which was super annoying. In the night when the curtains were drawn, my family had gone home and I had enough strength to lift the jug up for myself I binged on about 15 glasses. It was bliss. Thirst quenched.
Can't say I remember the next few days after that either. Purely sleeping and feeling generally rough. They moved me into a side room for my photophobia (intolerance to light) but by Friday I had perked up enough to converse and managed to take myself to the shower and feel human again (this meant having to wear pants again which was a downer but ya win some, ya lose some, and this was one I was prepared to lose.) They said surgery went to plan, my cortisol levels were much lower and I should be on the way up!!!!
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