So after a perky friday day, I went to sleep feeling optimistic. Even though I was told by the team in my case, Timmy is too much of a sneaky bastard and fixing me surgically probably wasnt possible. I need to have a six week course of radiotherapy soon after I recover from my last operation. But however annoying it is to come in everyday for half an hour for six weeks is, it's not hugely traumatising.
Anyway, so off in the land of nod I was blissfully unaware that an Meningitis infection was rearing its head and bubbling away. Your brain and spine are surrounded by something called CSF fluid and thats all kept in by a membrane. In the second surgery they needed to be as aggressive as possible and actually planned to scrape away until they perforated the membrane so they knew they'd done as much as they could. They got what they call a 'CSF leak' under control by patching me back up and they did a good job, because after surgery I didn't have anything trickling down the back of my nose or any metallic tastes at the back of my throat. But in the middle of the night I cant even come close to describing the developing pain in my head. It was like someone was trying to stone me to death from the inside. To the beat of my heart, so not even a steady headache, a pounding one. And I'm not sure if its possible to fathom your brain feeling like both a football inside your head but also feeling as if it was a dry piece of coral reef, but that is what it felt like to me. No position would relieve me even for a minute, I felt completely trapped inside my body. I was also paralysed with drowsiness and weakness that the only things people could manage to get out of me were murmurs and groans. And as the morning went on I only felt worse.
The doctors came round and were really worried about me. The brash surgeon also came round and was waving my arm around trying to get me to open my eyes a communicate and even though he was really hurting me because all the veins in my wrists were feeling bruised from all the cannulations from surgery I wasnt able to fully articulate anything at all. My mum came in and knew I wasnt right. (I think a 3 month old baby would be able to figure out I wasn't right though) and was pushing to get me sorted. The nurses and doctors had it all under way already though they were just trying to work out and sort out what medication to get me on and how to sort me out. Anyway, so just after she (and then my cousin) came. A couple of men came in. One asked me to turn on to my side, onto the side of the bed, keep my shoulders straight and bring my knees as far into my chest as possible.
My eyes were closed the entire time so I kind of had to piece together what was going on from what I could hear. Anyway, from the position he was telling me to get in, I thought I was about to have a bloody rectal examination, and based on previous experience, I didnt really fancy one of them. But I was in so much pain and was so weak I didnt want to fight back, I wanted them to do what they needed to do to get me better. He was prodding and pushing all around in my back which actually really hurt. Then, my Mum being the person she is, was asking if she was able to hold my hand and asked if she needed to get me into a better position or something and I remember his response being 'I won't lie, I cant feel the spine for definite so we will just have to be going in blind.' His tone was quite calm so I didnt get too worried but it all pieced together that I was about to have a lumbar puncture. He basically gives you local anesthetic and then sticks a big fat needle into your spine and drains out some of the CSF fluid to relieve some of the pressure. I remember hearing him say that the pressure in my spine was elevated. What they extract could also be taken to the lab and cultured which could identify what kind of infection I had so they can put me on the best possible medication for it. Anyway still feeling the roughest I had ever, they decided on two of the strongest antibiotics the could and administered them through IV. That along with general fluids because the nausea and weakness meant I didn't want to put anything down my throat and even if I did, I didnt have the strength to pour it for myself or sit up to drink it.
The next day I still felt terrible, even when I sat up, the headache wouldnt ever steady or settle and would only scale down once my head was flat down on my pillow again. I was still too weak to communicate but I did feel better than the day before. Then the next day, same thing, still shit, but a little better. It looked like the antibiotics were doing their thing.
But then comes the problems of my pesky little veins. Because of the nature of my surgery and it all being hormone based, my bloods need to be taken at a certain time everyday, and then because of my antibiotics, they also need to be taken again, at some point later in the day. But they cant insert a cannula and take it from the same place like they do at PIU, because they have to flush them (to avoid any blood clots that would stop them from working), the results can become skewed. So everyday at least two new locations need to be found to take blood. And with a cannula in, one site is already out of bounds. The first set of bloods is normally taken in the middle of the night at around 5am, so most of the time I'm just a floppy body they have to try and prick. But their options are becoming smaller and smaller and the veins they're having to try and use are becoming trickier and less reliable. The needle is really painful and doesn't work most of the time now. Then the night came that they had to retreat to my feet. They had to take blood from them the night before which was a little traumatising by I could live with it. But when they said they had to find a different vein in them again my heart sank. And then they had to put a cannula in them. It was 5am, I was half asleep and I was sobbing my eyes out. I had to have a drip IN MY FOOT. Silver lining from this one was that I didnt have to wear these ugly and suffocating stockings because they couldnt go over the cannula. But still, I'd much rather wear them then look like an idiot and feel disabled being hooked up to a machine via a tube from my left foot.
I have to use a call bell to get the nurses to unhook me any time I want to move and every nurse that came in was taken aback by the fact i was cannulated via the feet. I just had to laugh about it. But even so, those cannulas dont last a long time, maximum three days, and mine stopped working after a couple. So out came the foot tube and another nurse managed to find an accommodating vein (albeit an inconvenient place) in my arm. Relief.
The really nice nurse I had also changed my antibiotics to some that didnt require the blood tests alongside, in an attempt to relieve me and the other nurses from going through the trauma and the tears so often. I think im the notorious one on the ward that none of the nurses want to be assigned to because there really is no easy way. I am battered and bruised all over and any veins I do have left are so small they tend to collapse as soon as the needle touches them so the nurses are stuck with a bit of an impossible situation.
Lovely Nurse Mike tried to book me in to have a picc line fitted to save all my vein drama too, which is basically an industrial cannula that can last up to a month (ideal, seeing as I have to have these antibiotics intravenously for at least two weeks), and you can take blood using it too. (Only bad thing is that in order for it to work it has to be inserted into a big fat main artery deep in the top of the inside of your arm) But they only get fitted on tuesdays and thursdays, and he was only able to get me booked in for next tuesday :( (a whole week! I do not have 14 more places to prod in the time being). He was going to carry on pushing for it to be sooner and if not he was going to push for a central line, which is kind of the same thing but can only last for a maximum of 10 days and is put in much more unpleasant places, like the neck, tummy or thigh. Anyway, still no confirmed schedule for the picc line yet, but rumours today were that tomorrow could possibly be my day. Lets keep our fingers crossed!
No comments:
Post a Comment