So yesterday I finally started to feel able to feel part of the world again. I still hadnt eaten properly since before my last surgery over a week ago, in fact, I can list on both hands all the things I've eaten. A total of 5 nandos chicken wings, a handful of chips, and half a corn (over two days) a few calippos, a bar and a half of mint aero and almost all of a mint feast. And although I felt semi able to function, the thought of having any food still made my throat seize up. But that seemed like the biggest problem which I had to work towards, everything else seemed to finally be sorting itself out.
But as soon as my mum left, I felt a little drowsy and the nausea seemed to get a tad worse. I just got the nurse to turn the light off so I could sleep it off. But every time I was woken up in the night for my obs and other things (blood taken through the right ankle this time), my headache and nausea seemed to be getting worse and by the morning I was feeling terrible again. Weak, drowsy, sicky and a dull ache behind the eyes and a strong ache in the back of my head/ neck. A pain I again, couldnt steady. The doctors came in and checked me out and I'd gone back to the weak murmuring again so that triggered the worry again. They decided to switch back my antibiotics to the full whack powerful ones and give me another lumbar puncture to relieve some more pressure which seemed to be causing my headache again.
Two guys strolled in again, different ones from last time (even though I didnt see them at the time, their voices were very distinctive and loud and I was introduced to them the day or so after, when I could open my eyes). It was clear that one was a fully trained doctor and was teaching the other one. I really didnt fancy this lumbar puncture this time, I didnt have my mum with me and I was slightly more with it so I was all too aware of what they were going to do. After about 5 minutes of preparation it was clear that the student was about to give his first lumbar puncture, with me as the doll. I didn't want it even more. But you've gotta do what you've gotta do, and if hes gonna learn from this, then let him try and do his thing. He gave me local anesthetic, all fine. Done. But then it came for the big boy and he couldnt quite get it in the right place. He was having to scoot around and although some of it was numb, I could still feel what was going on. I coud tell when he hit my spine and I could tell when he'd gone to far. Anyway, wherever that needle went wasnt the exact spot and he wasnt able to get the direct place that he could drain any CSF from.
Clearly in pain they decided to let the other doctor take over and perform it himself. I heard him saying he was just millimetres away but it just practise that helps you know exactly the right spot. They had to start all over again, and anesthetise me again. After being prodded at painfully already, the second try wasnt at all comfortable either. I got a sharp shooting pain down right into my hoo ha which made me wince. He asked me if it went down my leg and i just 'mm'ed while keeping my lips tightly purse. He said it happens sometimes and should only last a couple of seconds. I had that shooting pain (down my actual leg this time) about 3 more times. It was horrible. I dont want another lumbar puncture ever again. I could feel something trickling down the skin on my back too. Whether it was CSF or blood I dont know. But I looked at my bed later and I had a nice bloody patch on my sheets. Minutes after my sheets had been changed. Men and their timing aye.
Anyway. I got the nurse to turn off the lights and I layed, paralysed (you have to lay with your back straight for an hour or so after the procedure) and sobbed under my blanket until I fell back asleep. But then my brother popped in because he was in the building for a physio appointment and it was nice to see a comforting face. Shame I couldnt get that neck massage he promised though because I had to be on my back. I was looking forward to that. Anyway, he got chucked out cause it wasn't visiting hours and all the doctors and nurses purposely do their things in the morning so they don't have visitors hanging around, and another nurse needed to do her thing- cannula joy.
It wasnt that traumatising actually. I wasn't being prodded while half asleep and she found a vein just above my 'golden vein' (which isnt so golden anymore because it was the go-to and has been used so many times its just one big scabby blob now). All very swift too. I was pleased and she was pleased. I was able to be hooked up to my good old IV machine again and they were able to pump the original antibiotics back into me and get me back on that path to recovery again.
I had a snooze and when I woke up it was as if the morning hadn't happened. Felt like me again (as much as I can rn). Despite being in a bit of discomfort when readjusting my positions and not being able to bend down because of the lumbar puncture pain and just generally being a bit weaker in my back, I had full ability back. I could sit up without getting a headache, I was strong enough to move things and my eyes had readjusted and I had the light on!! For the first time in about a week!
My cannula was feeling a bit uncomfortable because I felt the dressing was too tight so the plastic was just pushing down on the skin of my arm a bit. Nothing major, but being the picky whinger that I am I asked the really nice nurse to loosen it a bit. He tried but the tube accidently came out and the cannula couldnt be used anymore. I felt so bad. I hope the person in charge of him didnt give him a bollocking. He avoided doing anything for me for the rest of the day in fear. I hope once I get my picc line in we can be friends again.
Anyway, noone could find another vein so I decided to seize the day being cannula free and took myself to the shower with all the nice new shower stuff my mum had bought me in an attempt to get me washed (properly). I finally scrubbed my dryyyyyyy skin and shaved my ultra hairy legs. It was long overdue and I finally felt human again. Today I also ate. wwwwwwooooo hooo. Nice Nurse Mike told me they might have to put a tube down my throat to feed me which i NEVER want EVER. So it was nice to not be nauseas for long enough to keep that threat at bay.
They said my CSF fluid hasnt grown any particular bacteria yet, but the first sample showed an elevated level of white blood cells (indicating an infection I was trying to fight) and the second sample showed less (indicating that the antibiotics were doing the right thing). So hopefully now they know they're on the right track, I'll be feeling better and stronger by the day. Surely I must have run out of things to hit me with!! Anyway, back on track... thank ya Jesus!
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